Are you too busy for me?

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Have you ever asked yourself that question with a certain someone in mind? I feel like life has gotten so busy the older I get that at points, you really can get too busy. This question actually irks me to no end. I think the part about not actually having the answer and rhetorically just asking yourself the question makes it frustrating. Can life really get that busy that you can't pick up the phone and call someone, write someone a message, show someone that you're thinking about them, acknowledge them or pay it forward in some way? Isn't that a big part of what life is about -- a little big word called communication?
How about you? Do you ever feel like people are blowing you off or are just too busy to get in touch? Recently I've had a couple moments where I've felt this way. Wondering what might be going on in so and so's life that they just cannot reach out in some way and get in touch with me. I've always given people the benefit of the doubt because I really do not know what is going on in their life. How do you deal with this? Are you the type of person who is bad about communicating?

A few tips that I can share with you are these:
  1. Try getting in touch with that individual 3 times. Leave a message or a note and let them know you're trying to reach them. After the 3rd time, let them know that it looks like you've striked out and you won't try to get in touch any longer and it's on them. 
  2. If you're unable to get in touch, move on and continue on with life. They will contact you on their terms. Sometimes it can be too late and you've lost hope however I urge you to open your ear to let them explain if that's what they want to do. 
What tips do you have that you can share?
rachel-signature2

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10 comments

  1. Hey found you on the blog hop going on right now.

    I think you are right. I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt too, but the older I get, the more I realize that if someone wants to get in touch with me they will.

    For me, if I don't want to talk to someone I don't. I would totally notice if someone tried to contact me 3x. If I didn't respond to them within that time frame I would hope they would move on. If they didn't, then I'd start to think they were a little obsessive.

    Don't you think?

    Jessica
    {the.junk.nest}

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  2. Hey Jessica! So glad you found me.

    I'm the same way, If I don't want to talk to someone I don't either. I too would notice if someone tried contacting me 3x. I always try my best to respond as quick as I can and sometimes too quick to a fault. I think each case is different but sometimes playing tag gets annoying too.

    I'm off to check out your blog! :)

    X, Rachel

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  3. I have felt like this so many times! Stopping by from the Networking Blog Hop :)
    Modern Modest Beauty

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  4. I feel like I am that person blowing people off sometimes. I'd like to learn how to communicate better as some frindships are fading away and it's down to me. Thanks for the nudge!

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  5. I love the quote! I agree with everyone else's comments. The are not worth your time! I am visiting from Thee Blog Hop and I am a new follower! I hope you will stop by http://www.garagesalesrus.blogspot.com/ and do the same.

    Robin

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  6. Hi Rachel, found your blog through Hello Cotton!

    I think part of the difficulty is a difference in expectations. I tend to speak to my best friend a couple of times a month and see her once a month or so. And it works great for both of us, as we both have busy lives. We have the same expectations.

    But I find it tricky when a friend wants to speak to me on a weekly or even daily basis - and end up feeling guilty (and a little annoyed) when I can't meet their expectations.

    Thought-provoking topic! And really like your blog.

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  7. I totally agree with Emma. I think frequency of communication depends on so many different things, but the friends I feel closest to are the ones who understand the lulls and pick right back up when we're able to get together again. "Pressure" when communicating with friends makes everything feel like an obligation instead of a natural friendship.

    I found your blog from a weekly link round up that Sarah from Yes and Yes puts out. Lovely!

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  8. I love this post. I'm pretty good at getting back to people - I respond to pretty much every phone call/email/facebook message from someone I already know with at least a line or two. It takes a few seconds, so why not?

    I'm not so good at making the first move at getting in touch with an old friend or someone I recently met, however... I'm pretty shy and a bit insecure, so I tend to think about giving someone a call and then second guess myself. ("Why bother, they're busy, they probably barely remember me...") And so when I do reach out to someone and don't hear back it hurts.

    However, lately I sucked it up and contacted a few friends from college and high school I'd lost touch with and was so happy when they all got back to me quickly and were happy to hear from me!

    I guess I find it hard to understand when people don't respond, since I find it so easy to do and try to stay in touch with everyone except for people who have hurt me or who I actively dislike. (And even then I have trouble just deleting their message/text and moving on... it just feels rude to me as much as I know it's for the best.)

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  9. @Ashlie & @littleshopofclutter, I am totally agreeing to your comments! Obligation or pressure makes things so unnatural and just not fun. For me I always have to acknowledge in some way but there have been times where I've totally forgotten to get back to someone and then when I realize it, I feel terrible and let them know.

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  10. Yes! Yes, oh yes! I have definitely felt this way in the past. I think Emma summed it up nicely for me too. I think it definitely comes down to aligning expectations with each other. I've had friendships fade away just because our expectations of what was deemed necessary to keep the friendship alive were quite different. Plus, I don't deal with pressure or obligation very well. I'm a bit of an independent, free-spirit!!

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